Whilst working with children with autism . we must have had lots of dealing with challenging behaviour, It is less about “stopping the behaviour” and more about understanding what’s driving it. Most behaviour is communication, especially when someone doesn’t have the skills, words, or emotional regulation to express their needs clearly.
Start by slowing the situation down. In the moment, our first goal is safety and calm, not correction. We should keep our voice low and steady, use simple language, and avoid arguing or giving long explanations. When emotions are high, reasoning usually doesn’t work.
After things settle, look for patterns. We should ask ourselves what happened before, during, and after the behaviour:
- What triggered it? (task, demand, noise, transition, hunger, attention, frustration)
- What did the child gain or avoid?
- How did others respond?
This helps us understand the function of the behaviour (escape, attention, sensory needs, control, etc.). Once we know the “why,” we can address the root cause rather than reacting to the surface behaviour.
Some practical strategies that often help:
Preventive approaches
- Clear routines and expectations
- Visual schedules or reminders
- Giving choices to increase control
- Breaking tasks into smaller steps
- Regular breaks and movement
- Teaching emotional vocabulary and coping skills
In the moment
- Stay calm and neutral
- Reduce language and demands
- Offer space or a quiet area
- Acknowledge feelings (“I can see you’re frustrated”)
- Redirect rather than confront
Afterwards
- Examine when calm, not during the incident
- Teach or model the skill they were missing (asking for help, taking a break, using words)
- Reinforce positive behaviour quickly and specifically
Also, try not to take it personally. Challenging behaviour often reflects stress, overload, or unmet needs rather than intentional defiance.